June Challenge: Day 23: Things I've learned that school won't teach me

Day 23, Sunday: Things I've learned that school won't teach me

School never really taught me that much, but then I never was that keen on the place to be fair. I much preferred doing my own thing in my own time and generally speaking things have worked out better for me that way. However there are a few specific things I feel school forgot to teach me. 

Firstly how to manage money. I'm pretty good with money in that I've been saving since the dawn of time but there was no real financial education available. By the time I was 18 I was working full time and being offered all kinds of loans and credit cards. Thankfully I was sensible. 

Secondly a sense of direction. I can find anywhere, I navigate public transport and car journeys without hesitation and if I am walking around I will always find my way to the right place. I've put this to the test in foreign countries and unfamiliar places too. I've got an inbuilt navigation system that I was not taught. 

Thirdly how to survive the world of work. A couple of weeks work experience does not teach you how to self manage and self motivate yourself for five whole days a week, nor chair meetings, take minutes or do all the basic administration functions that come with most people's first jobs. 

Fourthly how to use your common sense. School actually seems to drum this out of people by teaching them to the curriculum and not around it, by discouraging opportunities for independent projects. Sometime the right answer isn't always the one written down on the paperwork but schools cannot always see that. 

Lastly school definitely did not teach me to challenge people. In fact the few times I challenged teachers I was removed from class for being disruptive and I frequently got detentions. I'm big on respect don't get me wrong but I think respect is given where you know you can question things. Schools have a tendency to take that as trouble making behaviour and deal with it accordingly. 

Primarily though schools don't teach you to find yourself. You have to really want to look once you've left to start doing that. I hated the person I was back then but these days I've grown used to tolerating her. Schools don't teach you self respect or self confidence. You have to learn those skills for yourself. 

June Challenge: Day 22: Rant about something

Day 22, Saturday: Rant about something. Get up on my soapbox and tell the world  how I really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something anyone does that really ticks me off)

I'm not a fan of marriage so let me clear that up before we start. I truly do not believe that anyone is capable of making the kind of commitment set out by that institution under the current vows and that therefore all anyone is doing by getting married is making a calculated gamble. 

I think it's important to clarify that because what I'm about to say next does not come from any love of that system moreover my desire for full equality of all people. 

The concept I am putting my point across about is gay marriage legislation and all the current legal arguments. 

First of all does the fact that everyone refers to this as gay marriage mean that I have to start calling other marriages straight ones, because I really fail to see why people have to keep tagging that extra word in there like marriage is somehow going to be different if it is between two people of the same gender. I'm certain that all the ideals behind marriage - love, honour, cherish, faithful, till death etc - would apply equally to all couples wanting to make that commitment. I very much doubt that anyone would actually set out to make marriage about something else regardless of sexuality. 

Secondly there seems to be this massive issue over religion and the various religious beliefs over non straight relationships. I find that actually hilarious given the dwindling church attendances in this country, the increasing number of people who choose to get married anywhere other than a religious building these days and the fact that I know many people who literally turned up for the classes the vicar put on until they got married and then never went back. I mean I think marriage has been so diluted down in this country from its original religious roots that I don't think this is going to change that. And that is despite the fact that most gay people I know would describe themselves as religious anyway but that's for another time. 

The other point I've heard made is that there is likely to be a massive upsurge in people turning gay or that this will somehow lead to more non straight relationships. Do people really still believe sexuality is catching or that all gay people are predatory? I think there is quite an arrogance implied there on behalf of straight people in that there is a belief people would try to turn them. There has always been an under representation of gay relationships in society for numerous reasons, including the pressure to comply with the perceived cultural norm, so there may well be an increase in recording of non straight relationships. So what? I'm pretty certain it's not illegal these days and therefore people need to quit worrying about things which do not concern them. 

However for all of these points I've raised there is one thing in the current debate that really irks me the most and that is the UK government and opposition parties using this very valid point of equality as a stick to beat people with. I'm not sure if they are trying to prove they are moving with the times or demonstrating their own tolerance, or in some cases lack thereof, but this should not be about party politics. I mean how many times can David Cameron stand up and give one of his 'right on' speeches before being brought to task by his back bench MPs until he realises he is fighting a losing battle? The fact that they are even arguing over a matter of equal rights when our economy is fast going to hell in a handcart and half the world seems to want to bomb the other is ludicrous. 

If two people wish to get married having been in a long term committed relationship. I say good for them. Why is what sexuality they are even relevant to the conversation? We pride ourselves in this country on being progressive, well then stop debating and start doing. All people are equal so why are two women or two men less equal than one of each? 

June Challenge: Day 6: What do you do?

Day 6, Thursday:  If I couldn't answer with my job, how would I answer the question, 'what do you do'?

What do I do? I guess that is the question.

My work is such a big part of who I am that it is really hard to answer the question without referring to it. I mean, I work 6 days a week including evenings as standard which leaves very little time for anything else. However I love my job and all it entails, something which I have really learned about myself this week, and therefore I don't mind having more work in my work/life balance than I am sure is healthy. 

However my role is not who I am, because this is something that I have only been for a number of years when in actual fact who I am is who I've been since I was a small child. 

So what do I do? Who am I? I am a storyteller. 

I've been telling stories in various forms since I was little. I wrote my first short story aged 5 and I was the child constantly making up playground games of fictional characters back in primary school. I used to tell the younger kids stories to captivate them and by the time I started secondary school the middle parts of all my exercise books were filled with random extracts of stories that fill my head. Now when I am sitting in silence inside my mind there are fictional characters having conversations, and I spend my life watching the world around me for story ideas. Every single thing that occurs around me influences my storytelling and my brain never ever shuts off from the madness of ideas and script snippets going round and round inside my head. 

I make up stories from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I close them in the early hours of the next. It is very much part of who I am. My career plan is to become a scriptwriter, I want to tell stories for a living every single day. 

So what do I do? I am a storyteller. I tell stories every single day. I'm happy that way.

June Challenge: Day 5: Professing my love

Day 5, Wednesday: Publicly profess my love and devotion for my favorite person, book or place. What makes it/them great? 

I love To Kill A Mockingbird. There is an irony to that given I never read the book when it was a set text for my G.C.S.Es and managed to pass purely from having read the revision guide. The moment my exam was over and reading the book was no longer mandatory I read it on one sitting and fell in love. There is something so moving and beautiful about the innocence of Scout transposed against the racial and political tensions of the world around her and once the story grabbed my attention it refused to let go. This book is my favourite of all time and I've been to see a stage adaptation also. There are so many powerful messages within the piece that I feel Harper Lee deserves far more recognition than she ever received. 

In terms of people, I would have to profess my love for my little sister who is affectionately known as Tink. She is someone I've watched grow up from an adorable child to a brilliant young woman. I was once asked if I was jealous of Tink. She had this ability to make friends more easily, she was far more creative and artistic etc. It isn't jealousy I feel but pride. I am ever so proud to call this girl my sister and I'm so grateful that I also get to call her a friend. Yes we do each other's heads in from time to time and we can have the most awful rows but that's what siblings do. She is most generous, kind hearted and genuine person. There is no side to my little sister, she just is who she is and all the more lovely for it. A lot of my favourite memories have been had standing beside her and I love her for standing beside me every step of the way - especially when I'm freaking out over something and need a rational point of view. 

In terms of a favourite place, or a place that I love, well that is difficult. I fell for Iceland, but also the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park. I adore Wales but Devon and Cornwall are my home, in a feeling like I belong sense rather than physically. I am the sort of person that hates beaches and loves sightseeing but also wants to spend some time sitting back and enjoying the very spirit and essence of a place. 

I guess if I had to choose one place though it would be somewhere I feel at home, because I am home. London is my city, I live in the suburbs and work right in the heart of town. It's so easy to forget what an amazing place this is when you're here every day. However just recently I've been standing back a little and appreciating that I'm lucky to be here. I can walk over to the Thames in a few minutes from my office and I'm immediately able to see all the key places that make up the skyline. I can see St Paul's Cathedral from my office window. There is a vibe I witness every day in the buzz of people that I've loved for longer than I realised. My favourite view of town is from Richmond Park where you get the most epic panorama of the city landscape. It's breathtaking. I don't think I ever gave it enough appreciation before. What more could you want from a place than what I currently have staring back at me every single day? I love it here. I smile here. My life is here. London is as much part of who I am as the job I do. 

There we go then. I thought I'd tackle all three!

June Challenge: Day 3: Things that make me uncomfortable

Day 3, Monday: Things that make me uncomfortable

Short. Simple. To the point.
And sort of following on from my earlier post.

The thing that makes me most uncomfortable is watching someone do something that ethically I do not believe to be right.

I am very much a believer in doing the right thing and standing up to be counted to challenge someone who is doing something wrong. Watching someone behave inappropriately makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and therefore I have to react, it's almost instinctive.

Never ever stand back and watch where it means you are compromising on your own ethical and moral viewpoint. Where I feel uncomfortable I will do something about it. That way I don't feel uncomfortable for long and the world around me is influenced by a culture of not passively watching bad things occur.

Always have the courage of your convictions, that way you can be sure if something around you is wrong you will always be able to do something about it.

June Challenge: Day 2: Educate others on something

Day 2, Sunday: Educate others on something I know a lot about or am good at. I would take any approach I  like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic).

 So this in itself doesn't quite follow what I'm expected to do here nor is it on time but I can live with both those things. I spent much time reflecting on this last night because it seemed surprisingly difficult to put down in words something I could educate other people on. The things I know a lot about tend to be either completely fact based (e.g. I can name every capital city in the world without hesitation) or are things which require debate, as I have an opinion on pretty much anything. And in terms of the things that I am good at, well anything I could think of was either so boring I would be sending the to sleep or not anything I could actually put down on paper.

So that sort of left me a little stumped because no one is going to want me educating them about the political aspirations of countries they don't even know about or teaching them maths!

That in itself made me consider things, because in the past I was going to become a maths teacher. Either that or a geography one. These days it's something I cannot imagine myself doing, not because I don't think it's a positive thing to do more that it's not what I would have been happy doing.

The reason I didn't become a teacher and took up my current career was more fated than by design. I was an a grade student who got bored of school and felt pigeon holed by people who were convinced my only option was university to get myself a job. I was pushed down a route of applications to ucas and leaving home and had no energy left to protest that I just wanted to find my own way. I dropped out of university after four weeks, in which time I established that I had been right all along.

Most people thought I was mad and a lot of them told me so but as much as I suddenly felt very small in a big grown up world I knew I had done the right thing. Fast forward three months and I took a temporary administration job in an office where my desire to help people, combined with an interest in psychology and a willingness to work damn hard to forge a career gave me the stepping stones I needed to be successful.

My decision to leave university was made in October 2004, by May 2005 I was the youngest person in London doing my job and in August 2009 I got promoted for the first time. Since then I've never looked back.

I earn more now than I ever could have expected out of a post university job. I've been paid to undertake courses, and had many development opportunities - no student fees and loans for me.

And yet this isn't about that.

This is not the story of a girl who hated university. No, this is the story of someone who realised that trusting your own judgement and not letting people talk you into things is vital. If I could teach anyone out there something it would be this - the only person who can ever know what is right for you is you, so walk in your own shoes, don't be afraid to take risks and be true to yourself.

I don't always play by the rules and expectations others place on me. Nor do I set out to follow the most challenging route possible. I just do things my way and make it clear to people that if they want me to undertake something then they respect that I will have my own viewpoint on it and will be making that clear. 

Have all my decisions worked out? No. Do I regret any of them? No. Because at the time they were the right decision to make and I was following my own path. As long as you never deviate from being true to yourself you can never lose what makes you who you are.

June Challenge: Day 4: Favourite Quote

Day 4, Tuesday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why I love it:

There are two quotes that I love more than others. One was in an email that was sent to me by my good friend J many years ago, and I love this because it meant so much to both of us at the time. The words are very powerful and very true, they sum up what it means to love and be loved.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you're having a bad hair day; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her..."

The second is actually from Buffy the Vampire Slayer would you believe! Whistler says it in Series 2, the last episode of series 2 (Becoming Pt 1 and 2). I love it because it sums up what I feel about life. It isn't what you've been through that counts, the big moments we all go through are important but everyone has them. It is how you deal with what happened to you, how when you strip it all back and your defences are removed, you get up, dust yourself off and carry on - that is what really counts.

Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change. Not really. But it does. So what are we? Helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are....

There's moments in your life that make you. That set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes, they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes, they're not. 

June Challenge: Day 1: The story of my life

June Blog Challenge - Day 1, Saturday (so I am a day late): The story of my life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting my words... probably)

What is there to know about me? I am 28 years old, as of last Saturday, and I live in South West London - or North Surrey depending on who you ask. In fact I have lived near Chessington World of Adventures my whole life, which is lots of fun except for constant nightmares about being eaten by escaped wild animals. I'm a university drop out who got a job by chance and a career I loved through what can only be described as fate, and still can't believe how much I fell on my feet.

My family are made up of a mum who is one of my closest friends, a dad I argue with because we are far too alike (apparently) and a sister I call Tinkerbelle, which was ironic because she was not a girly girl at all at the time of giving her the name but these days she is just as at home in dresses as she is in jeans and trainers. Tink is the most brilliant little sister - one I am incredibly proud of - and her and her boyfriend are two of the loveliest people you could ever meet. Outside of them I have more aunts, uncles and cousins than I can name here and we comprise a very bonkers family that I adore. 

My closest friend in the world is Emma, who is the strongest, bravest and genuinely most insane person I have ever met. She has encouraged me to come out of my shell and enjoy the madness, and it is because of her I am as happy as I am today. I also have some of the greatest colleagues in the world who love after work drinks as much as I do and as a consequence the bars of central London are fast becoming my favourite haunts. Some of my favourite people in the entire world are friends I have made online - especially Lucy, Toni, Jaz, Abbey, Brooke.... need I go on, you all know who you are. 

As for me, what can I say? I love writing more than anything in the world, reading in second place and watching television dramas in third. I'm not very sociable generally speaking and am just as happy on my own as I am with others, more so in fact. I love tattoos and piercings and messing about with my hair colour as much as I love my little cuddly rabbit and my onesie! I love the freedom of driving my car and escaping normality for a while. My favourite places I've been to are San Francisco, Yosemite National Park, Grand Canyon, Iceland, Wales (all of it!), Devon/Cornwall (all of it!) and now Glasgow. I want to go to South Africa, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Ireland in the next few years. 

So there we have it, it is a good job no one is keeping an eye on the word count - I've not added it up but I know that is more than 250 words. 
Oops
Until next time!

Setting myself a challenge!

So I have been blogging a lot more than I've ever done in the past, and surprisingly in fact I am actually enjoying it. I also enjoy reading what other people are blogging about and the one I am loving right now is the bemused ramblings of my good friend Jaz!

On Friday Jaz blogged about a blog challenge she had seen which she had adapted for June, and having pondered on it I am now decided I will be following her lead and attempting to blog every day in June. 

Jaz has posted the rules for this event and the topics up on her own blog (Life of Jasmine Olivia) so I don't feel the need to repeat them here or reinvent the wheel, but I will be attempting this challenge for myself and hoping I don't fall by the wayside by mid month!

I'm already a day behind so I intend to blog three times over today and tomorrow to make up for it and then we are off. 

Ready steady go.... lets blog!

Until next time.

Before I die.....

Do you have a bucket list?

I always used to joke that I had a bucket list but really it was just a random list of things that had at one point or another popped into my head. There was no plan or coherence to these suggestions nor any sense of urgency. They were just concepts on a piece of paper; a list of maybes and could dos rather than possibilities for me to aim towards.

When someone you love is dying it does force you to pause and consider not only your own mortality but also how you've lived your life. Have I done everything I set out to do? No of course not. But am I proud of my achievements? Yes, very much so.

It was these musings that made me consider the idea of a bucket list more seriously. From the perspective of someone watching the person they love die I can see such a thing can be both a positive and a negative. I mean there are so many things Emma can tick off hers it's unbelievable but then again what of all the things she has yet to accomplish and now can never cross off? In that sense is a bucket list a list of proud moments, moments to cherish and hold onto, or is it very much a reminder of all the plans that will never be seen through to completion? A helpful blessing or a millstone around your neck?

Even now I'm not entirely sure on my perspective. I'd quite like to have a list of ambitions and goals, something to work towards but I'm scared that such a thing might just end up being a nice piece of paper on the wall that never gets acted upon. And what of thinking of its intended purpose - a list of good things to do before you die? Given the circumstances do I really want to have something that is a constant reminder of my own mortality?

Yet despite that I find there an appeal to this list, especially if it is one that Emma has the chance to contribute to before she departs. Like there would be a sense of achievement just in ticking things off that we always wanted to but couldn't do together. A way of remaining close even after she has gone.

I'd be interested in your thoughts. To have a bucket list or to not have a bucket list? Right now that really is the question!